I participated in my first Six Sentence Sunday last weekend. Wow! What fun! I can see how this might become addictive.
Thank you to everyone for stopping by and commenting on my post last week! I appreciate it! I was grinning for two days. :)
So, I'm back for another week.
This is an excerpt from that same older Work in
Progress, Unavoidable Legacies.
These six sentences are also from the prologue. Like I mentioned last week, this is a scene between two secondary characters, whose activities set the rest of the book in motion. Last week, we had a six lines in Grace's point of view. John and Grace were fighting.
Unable to get the reaction she wants from John, Grace jumps into her car and speeds away. A moment later, her car flies off the snowy road and into the lake.
Here are my six from John's POV:
*****
He had killed her. If he'd been driving Grace’s sports car when the useless thing had broken through the barrier and crashed into the icy lake, then no one would question his confession. As it was, no one would listen to him. John leaned against the silent ambulance and watched the grim-faced emergency crew try to find her in the murky depths. Why was it taking so long?
With each passing moment, John's body grew increasingly numb until he was sure he could follow Grace, plunge into that same dark water, and not feel a bloody thing.
*****
What is Six Sentence Sunday?
- Pick six (6) sentences from anything you like (it can be from a Work in Progress (WIP), something you recently sold, something you hope to sell or even something already under contract and available for purchase).
- Sign up on the Six Sentence Sunday website.
- Then post your sentences on your blog on Sunday.
Check out the other fabulous writers and their sentences at http://www.sixsunday.com/. There are some great snippets!
*****
Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!
I'd love to hear from you about this excerpt! What do you think?
78 comments:
Powerful six. Wow, poor sod!
Intriguing 6!
Love that last sentence. Very evocative six!
That is so gripping! Very good!
Oh, how sad...but I like sad...to start anyway. Nice to have you in SSS. ;)
wow - poor guy - thanks for the visit. By the way my six are in 3rd POV...
I loved it. It was very powerful.
Wow, is she really dead? OMG! His pain is beautifully portrayed here. I especially love the last sentence!
Brilliant - very visceral, especially the last sentence.
Poor guy. Nice six :-)
Wow, I can really feel his guilt. Great six! :)
Very smooth, yet suspenseful...You have a style that easily draws the reader in. Nice!
Wow, intense six, Lorraine. :)
I hope they cant find her because she swam away... Your opening has quite a hook!
Good six. The numbness and guilt are well portrayed in such a small snippet.
And this is the prologue? Can't wait to see where this can go from here!
That was an intense and emotional six! Loved it :)
So sad. :-( Excellent snippet.
And yes, SSS is very addictive!
Powerful emotions beautifully portrayed. Excellent six.
I really liked this, and want to know more. :) I'm finding this Six Sentence Sunday thing very addictive too!
So much angst and sadness in this! Well done. :)
Oh, so tragic. His body numbing angst is very nicely conveyed in the six. And welcome back for your second go round!
Welcome back for another week, Wow, a powerful scene!
Oh, no. That's awful. Your description of his reaction is perfect. Like that last line especially.
Thank you so much!
Such a raw emotional moment well written. Great six.
Thanks, Angela!
Thank you, Kate!
Thanks, Kate! :)
Thank you, Carmen! I admit, the prologue is a sad... but things start to turn around (hopefully) when the main characters arrive. :)
Thanks, Sue! I'll go and check out your six again...
Thanks, Maggie! You should think about participating in this! It is fun! :)
Thank you, Sarah!
Thank you, Karen! :)
Thanks, Sandra!
Thanks, Jessica!
Thank you so much, Ursula! That is so nice to hear! :)
Thank you, Siobhan!
Wonderful six. You can really feel John's angst. Glad I stopped by. Will be looking for more.
Unfortunately, no... but I'm beginning to think we haven't seen the last of her. ;) (It might be part of my rewrites.)
Thanks for stopping by!
Thanks, Devin!
Thank you, Sarah!
Thank you so much, Christine!
Thank you, Karysa. :) I love reading everyone's snippets and getting such great comments.
Thank you so much, Jenna!
Thank you, Donna! I'm really enjoying reading everyone's six and receiving such great feedback
Thank you, Vivien!
Thank you, Claire! :)
Thank you, Lynne!
Thank you, Eleri! :)
Thank you so much, Heather!
Thank you, Sabrina! That is so nice to hear! :)
Wow! Awesomely intense six. This is terrific.
We are both newbies at Six Sentence Sunday. This was my 3rd week. Thanks for looking at mine. It's nice to "meet" you. I'll be looking forward to reading more.
Regret can be a terrible thing to live with. I hope they find her okay somewhere on the shore! I'm worried about both of them.
I loved your six! I could feel his despair and visualize the scene. Excellent job.
Michelle
www.michelle-pickett.com/blog
Wonderfully intense, Lorraine. Congratulations.
You're setting up a very intense scene there. I really feel for poor John and desperately want to know more now.
Nice evocation of guilt--which isn't always logical.
Wonderful, six! I feel his sense of bleakness as he watches the scene play out. Well done. I'm a newbie at SSS too, having only done my first. Thanks for checking it out, Lorraine. Nice to "meet" you! :-)
I can feel his guilt, but is he really responsible or just believeing he is?
Chilling and intense! Excellent suspense, and great teaser.
I'm late getting around to checking everyone's Six Sentences, but wow, this one was definitely worth waiting for! Great scene setting, mood setting, and terrific insight into John's psyche. And this is a secondary character? Wow!
Very dramatic moment. Great choice of six!
Thank you so much, Silver! :)
Thank you, Jean Marie!
Thank you, Cate. I wrote this a few years ago... it was my first kick at Romantic Suspense. :)
No, he isn't really responsible. Just feeling really guilty because he'd just broken it off with her, so she was upset when she ended up driving into the lake.
Thanks for stopping by, Chantel! It is nice to "meet" you too! :)
Thanks, Dianne. Yes, both John and Grace are in a horrible situation...
Thanks, Michelle! I appreciate your comments. :)
Thank you, Liz! :)
Yes, the prologue is very intense... I'm still not sure about keeping it in the final draft...
Thank you, Sue Ann!
Thank you for stopping by too, Mae! You are welcome! And, it is nice to "meet" you too! :)
It can work really well to start a story with a bang. You just have to remember to follow it up with an even bigger one later :) and knock the readers' emotional socks off!
Crikey, very tense snippet!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Gayle! :)
Another good six, Lorraine! Great imagery. I can see the accident scene, feel his nearly numb (shock) and guilty frame of mind, it still left questions I wanted answered. Good work...
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