Saturday, May 5, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday - All That Glitters #5

This snippet is from my work in progress, ALL THAT GLITTERS. (Other snippets from this story can be found here.)

Introduction to these sentences: This excerpt follows directly after my last SSS post. Driving on country roads for the first time, Annie loses control of her truck and drives into a ditch. Quinn sees her accident, so he stops to help. Both Annie and her truck are fine, but when she tries to get out of the truck, her door hits the steep slope of the ditch. She can't open the door wide enough to squeeze through - she's trapped. Quinn has just told her he'll pull her truck out of the ditch, and Annie has decided she wants out of the truck first. Quinn's suggested she crawl through the window, assuring her he'll make sure she doesn't fall.  When her foot gets caught on something, Annie looks down and realizes that her position, crawling on the seat toward him, is displaying her cleavage to Quinn.  Last time, she wished for a turtleneck.

Here are the six:

          Truck windows weren't meant to be used as doors, at least not by her and not while she was still clutching her shirt closed.  She'd managed to get her upper body through the opening, but when she tried to pull her leg around, her knee kept hitting the steering wheel.  
          How did they do this on The Dukes of HazzardWould it be better if she backed toward the window bum first?
          When she started to crawl back inside to reorient herself, Quinn cleared his throat and she froze.
          Then he touched her. 

As I said last time, I'll post more excerpts from this scene over the next couple of Sundays, at least until Annie has two feet on the ground!

*****

Thank you for stopping by to read my Six Sentence Sunday post. You are all wonderful! I appreciate everyone's comments and ideas, so let me know what you think! :)

Check out the Six Sentence Sunday website to find links to more author blogs and snippets! The other writers who participate in this are fabulous and talented too - so check them out!

106 comments:

Jessica Subject said...

I immediately thought of Dukes of Hazzard from the intro. I can feel all kinds of tension in this six. Well done! :)

Lisa Fox said...

Dukes of Hazzard! - Now that brings back great memories.

Donna Cummings said...

LOL -- I love her tenacity. And the Dukes of Hazzard line was perfect. Now *I* am trying to figure out how they did that. :)

Paula Martin said...

So funny, I can just imagine it!

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Jessica! :) Glad you felt tension - it is certainly a tense moment for Annie!

patonlorraine said...

I was going to watch some YouTube clips yesterday... but decided maybe some things are better left as memories. LOL

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Donna! Annie isn't the most agile of people, but I suppose she does have tenacity. :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Paula! I'm glad you liked it. :)

Joanne Stewart said...

Oh you can't stop there! that's not fair! lol Seriously, fantastic six. I'm hooked!

Krystal Wade said...

Awesome six! Crawling through a truck window does not sound easy!

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thank you, Joanne! Your comment makes me smile! :)

Wildcats Wife said...

I think he's enjoying her being stuck! Gives him time to "analyze" her assets. LOL. Oh, these two are a mess, a mess in deed.

patonlorraine said...

Thanks so much, Krystal! :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL! Annie's a mess, that's for sure. And, yes, then there is Quinn... :)

Kate said...

Oh, she's in trouble all right. Can't wait to see what happens next. Great six!

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, Kate! :)

K.E. Saxon said...

What a hoot! I love this whole situation. Funny and simply steaming, too! Hey, did you say yet why she can't use the passenger side door to get out? Just a stray thought... Great six!!

angelaquarles.com said...

oooh, you're such a tease! Touched her where?? Great 6, I chuckled on the Dukes of Hazzard comment :)

maeclair.net said...

What a heck of a place to leave things! Arrgh! I hope you follow up with this one next week. Oh, and loved the Dukes reference. Wonderful touch of humor!

Kate said...

The Dukes of Hazzard reference cracked me up. My husband loves that show.

Wonder what Quinn is getting an eyeful of now. Great six, Lorraine!

lilashaw.com said...

Inquiring minds wish to know WHERE he touched her. ;)

Lee Ann Ward said...

Wow, I love the Dukes of Hazzard reference! What a blast from the past! You voice is AMAZING, and I can't wait to follow this story :) and thanks for the nice welcome to SSS :)

Candice Bundy said...

Uh oh, all I can think of now is, what can he see of her um, assets, now? Hahaha! And yes, WHERE does he touch her?

Veronica Scott said...

I've been thinking Dukes of Hazzard at various points here inagoodway LOL. I love this story - well done six!

Sarah Ballance said...

I had to LOL because my six-year-old daughter is a HUGE "Dukes" fan and watches the DVDs ALL the time. I love the reference! And it sounds like that was one heck of a touch ... can't wait to see where it leads!

sue said...

uh oh - they're both goners now - doesn't matter where he touched her...

Cate Masters said...

The poor girl! She's really in a jam.

DasNuk said...

It's just the right amount of meanness not to tell us where he touched her. It keeps me hooked. :)

Teresa Cypher said...

lol! This just keeps getting better and better, Lorraine! Love the reference to the Dukes of Hazzard. :-)

Cara Bristol said...

Now I'm wondering what she's flashing to make him clear his throat.

Zee Monodee said...

Ooooh, you can't leave us here!!! :)

Sue Ann Bowling said...

I think trucks back in the Dukes of Hazzard times had a lot more room for maneuvers!

Patricia Preston said...

Now you've got me trying to remember what kind of car the General Lee was. A Dodge Charger? Love your six. I'm sure she'll get out with a little help from a friend.

Joya said...

LOL! What a great visual. Charming description of her attempt to get out. Great six, Lorraine! :)

stephanielawton.com said...

Gah! Where? WHERE? Great cliffhanger. :)

Silver James said...

Lorraine, this is such a terrific scene. I can't wait to get here each Sunday to see what's going to happen next! Awesome six this week.

Karyn Good said...

I love her sense of modesty. It's very appealing!! I can picture it all so clearly. Wonderful six!

L.J. Kentowski said...

OMG!!! You had me rolling with the DOH reference and then I had to hold my breath when he touched her! Now I'm stuck in this "holding breath" position until I get to read more! Not fair Lorraine! Not fair at all! Great 6!

Monica Enderle Pierce said...

OMG, the Dukes of Hazzard! I *always* wondered that, too! I love the situation you've gotten her into.

Casey said...

The humor that comes through makes your writing so much fun to read!

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks! And, thanks for mentioning it on Twitter! :)

I skipped over the part about the passenger door in the SSS posts, but she can't get out of it either.

patonlorraine said...

Haha! You're the first to ask that!

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, Mae! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Kate! She's still trying to keep her shirt closed, but I think she'll have to make a decision about that soon. ;)

patonlorraine said...

Tune in next week... and I'll probably mention something... maybe. LOL. ;)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Lee Ann! What a wonderful compliment! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Candice, your comment made me laugh! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Veronica! I'm glad you are enjoying it! :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL. God, I haven't seen the show in *years* but... sigh... :)

patonlorraine said...

You might be right, Sue! LOL

patonlorraine said...

It is taking a while to get her out of the truck, isn't it? :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, DasNuk!

patonlorraine said...

Thanks so much, Teresa! :)

Skye Warren said...

Oh, delicious. You know how to end on a hook, girl.

patonlorraine said...

I love the way your mind works... but she is trying desperately not to flash him. :) Though I suspect she won't have a choice soon...

patonlorraine said...

LOL! I promise to be back next week.

patonlorraine said...

Aha! That would explain it! ;)

patonlorraine said...

Yes, I think it was a Dodge Charger. I remember my nephew bemoaning the wrecking of so many cars.

Thanks, Patricia! Yes, Annie does need a little help.

patonlorraine said...

Thanks so much, Joya! :)

patonlorraine said...

*Tee hee* Thanks, Stephanie. :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Silver! What a wonderful compliment! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Karyn! I'm glad you liked it. :)

patonlorraine said...

That is wonderful to hear! Thanks, LJ. Yesterday when I posted this I didn't think I was being so mean... LOL. :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, Monica! :)

patonlorraine said...

Aw, thanks, Casey! :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, Skye! :) (As do you!)

Jennifer Lowery (Kamptner) said...

I love the name Quinn! The last line leaves me wanting more, more, more! Great six!

Ursula Grey said...

Amazing six, Lorraine. Loved the reference to Dukes of Hazzard;-) Loved this six!

Jenna said...

Fun snippet! Great reference to The Dukes of Hazzard! Guess she needed the General Lee instead of a truck. LOL Can't wait for these two to meet eye to eye. Even more sparks will fly. :)

S. J. Maylee said...

I'm so glad you are continuing with this scene again this week. It's so much fun. You keep leaving me wanting the next 6 right NOW :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Jennifer! :) *grin*

patonlorraine said...

Aw, thanks, Ursula! :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, Jenna! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, SJ! I'm glad you are enjoying them. :)

Sarah W said...

Considering how uptight she's been for the past few six, I can't wait to see how she reacts to an actual touch!

Ginger Simpson said...

Great way to add a little humor to a complicated moment for your heroine. Loved it and I'll be back for more.

melyndaprice said...

I love the Dukes of Hazzard reference here. It painted the perfect visual for this six!

Karen de Lange said...

Heh! I don't think Annie's got any choice but to give him an eyeful of *something*. He sounds like he's a gentleman, though.

patonlorraine said...

LOL. She is a bit of an uptight girl, isn't she?

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Ginger! I'm glad you like it.

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Melynda! :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL. True, the choice isn't really there, is it? Annie just doesn't know it yet. :)

Sandra Bunino said...

I love this scene, especially the last line!

diannehartsock said...

It's about time he helps her! I can just see him laughing inside but trying to keep a straight face. Really enjoying her discomfort!

Charmaine Gordon said...

So much fun in a difficult position. Thanks.

Elaine Cantrell said...

Bet he's enjoying her predicament.

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Sandra! :)

patonlorraine said...

She has been struggling for a bit, hasn't she? :) He'll help if she lets him.

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Charmaine! :)

patonlorraine said...

He's let a grin or two escape... ;)

Tonya Burrows said...

I have a feeling he's enjoying himself more than she is lol

Chantel Rhondeau said...

I love the foreshadowing of that last line. Poor Annie, this is such a horrible predicament for her to find herself stuck it!

Heather Boyd said...

Now the burning question is where he touched her. LOL Great six.

patonlorraine said...

Tonya, I think you are right! LOL

patonlorraine said...

:) Thanks, Chantel! Annie isn't used to being touched, so...

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, Heather! :)

The Belle in Blue said...

I love the awkward teasing feel between them. And unlike the teasing being done by the author, Annie's feels unintentional! LOL

Happy to meet you and your characters through Six Sentence Sundays!

~Joyce

J. M. Blackman said...

Still loving the predicament she's in. I just can't wait to see how her problem is resolved, as it is getting more complicated by the minute. Bum first? Yes, let's try that one next...;)

Jess Schira said...

I love the way this scene is coming together. Very nice six. I can't wait to read more.

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Joyce! Happy to meet you too! :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, JM! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Jess! :)

Eleri Stone said...

Oh, man. What a place to end this!

Pippa Jay said...

It's all sounding very undignified! :D

patonlorraine said...

*grin* Thanks for stopping by, Eleri! :)

patonlorraine said...

Yes, I think Annie would agree. :)