Saturday, May 19, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday - All That Glitters #7

This snippet is from my work in progress, ALL THAT GLITTERS. (Other snippets from this story can be found here.)

Introduction to these sentences: This excerpt follows directly after my last SSS post. Driving on country roads for the first time, Annie loses control of her truck and drives into a ditch. Quinn sees her accident, so he stops to help. Both Annie and her truck are fine, but when she tries to get out of the truck, her door hits the steep slope of the ditch. She can't open the door wide enough to squeeze through - she's trapped. Quinn has just told her he'll pull her truck out of the ditch, and Annie has decided she wants out of the truck first. Quinn's suggested she crawl through the window, assuring her he'll make sure she doesn't fall.  Last time, she was dangling out of the window unsure of how to get to the ground from her position.  She froze when Quinn touched her, but ended up leaning toward him when he put his hands on her waist.  She is still clenching her shirt closed, trying to prevent Quinn from getting another view of her cleavage.  Ah, modesty.

Here are the six:

          "Brace yourself on my shoulders," Quinn said. 
          Annie reached for him with her free hand, but it wasn't enough - she was still awkwardly perched half in and half out, only now she had the added distraction of actually touching him.  She wiggled and kicked, trying to inch forward.  God, what was she doing?  Swimming to him? 
          Closing her eyes, she let go and placed her other hand on Quinn too. 

Once again, Annie is almost out of the truck.  If things go as planned, her feet should touch ground next week.  :) 

*****
Thank you for stopping by to read my Six Sentence Sunday post. You are all wonderful! I appreciate everyone's comments and ideas, so let me know what you think! :)

Check out the Six Sentence Sunday website to find links to more author blogs and snippets! The other writers who participate in this are fabulous and talented too - so check them out!

83 comments:

Sarah Ballance said...

"Swimming to him." LMAO! This is such a fabulous scene!

Jessica Subject said...

LOL Looks like modesty was overpowered by the need to get out. Great six! :)

Donna Cummings said...

LOL -- I love the "swimming to him" line too. I can't wait til she's out of that truck!

Lisa Fox said...

I love that she just lets go and trusts him.

patonlorraine said...

Aw, thanks, Sarah! I'm glad you are enjoying it. :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Jessica!
Yes, she's *finally* given up on modesty. :)

patonlorraine said...

LOL. Thanks, Donna! I think Annie will be happy too. :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Lisa! Yes, this is a big step for her. :)

Paula Martin said...

Great scene, can just imagine it!

Veronica Scott said...

This scene has been fascinating to "watch" week after week. Glad she gets out of the truck next week LOL! Again another terrific six, makes me feel like I'm there!

christine warner said...

Revealing six...love her internals and her small fight to stop her feelings and then just letting go.

Sarah W said...

Her embarrassment is so exquisite, Lorraine! I think we've all been there, though maybe not in exactly the same setting. :)

Mae Clair said...

I love how all of these sixes have been sprinkled with a delicious mix of attraction and awkwardness. I can't wait to see how she reacts when she's finally standing in front of him. Great six, Lorraine!

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Paula! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Veronica! :) I'm glad you are enjoying it.

Joanne Stewart said...

Oh man. She had to let go of the shirt. hehe. LOVE it!

Kate said...

Yes, the swimming to him line is priceless. Great six!

Wildcats Wife said...

Love her bashfulness. Great snippet in that it shows how she must let go and trust him.

angelaquarles.com said...

Great snippet! I also really like the end, as it seems like what will be a metaphor for her relationship with him: "she let go and placed her other hand on Quinn too"

Skye Warren said...

Hehe, I liked the swimming comment. Love how you infuse humor so nicely!

Karen de Lange said...

Nearly there, Annie! I love the way you've drawn both of their characters over the last few weeks.

Sue Ann Bowling said...

Practicality and modesty in conflict--love this scene.

karysafaire.com said...

LOL. Swimming comment is great!

Sandra Sookoo said...

Nice scene :-)

Kate said...

I'm joining the swimming line fan club. Poor Annie, she's been stuck in that truck for weeks. ;) Looking forward to next week's six!

S. J. Maylee said...

Swimming to him, :) that's cute
Definitely looking forward to next week!!

Cara Bristol said...

Loving the heroic rescue. And yes, the swimming line is expected and great.

J.M. Blackman said...

Sometimes you've got to just let go and let the hunk pull you out, am I right? :) The swimming line is golden. Can't wait till she's free. Then, I'm sure she'll find that her position and their closeness is not the only thing fanning the flame between them.

sue said...

Loving this story and curious to see where it goes -

Monica Enderle Pierce said...

Well, this is one helluva compromised position you've placed her in. If he doesn't like her after this (and vice versa), it's hopeless. (Oh, and I really wanted to make a snarky comment about fish spawning, but am showing great restraint. Right? ;P)

Teresa Cypher said...

The last sentence--so symbolic :-) Yeah! She finally stopped fighting :-)

Cate Masters said...

Such torture for a shy woman! I feel her pain. Thank goodness she's letting go, literally and figuratively!

A.S. Fenichel said...

She is too cute. I can't wait to see how she gets through this. Nice six!

Elin Gregory said...

Oh, that is a good bit of description. Six sentences is just enough for a taste but we are left wanting more.

Jenna said...

So glad she finally just let go and went with it! Bet she'll be glad she did. Can't wait for next week!

Corinne Davies said...

I've loved following their interactions so far. And the mental image using "swimming to him" was perfect!

melyndaprice said...

I love the last line. You can just see her going for it!

Kylie Scott said...

Swimming to him was great. Super 6 Lorraine!

stephanielawton.com said...

Mmmm, I'm a shoulder girl, myself. I'd love to know more about Quinn's. :)

Joya said...

LOL! She DOES take a long time to get out of a truck, doesn't she? Can't wait for next week when her feet finally touch the ground. Great six! :)

Ruthie said...

Love it! The "swimming to him?" line made me LOL.

Candice Bundy said...

And now that she's got a grip on Quinn, her shirt's loose again, I'd bet. ;) This extraction is fraught with peril! Hahah! Well done, Lorraine.

Zee Monodee said...

Lol! Of course, we know nothing goes as planned... Loved this six, cannot wait for more! xoxo

Jennifer Lowery (Kamptner) said...

Love this story! Great six! More, please!

Silver James said...

I am sooo sorry I was gone yesterday because I was waiting for the next bit of this. You made me LOL, Lorraine. And now I have to wait another week! You're a tease! ;)

Ginger Simpson said...

How cute. I can visualize her...hating to touch him because of her emotions, but needing his assistance to get out of this precarious situation. Great job. Look forward to more.

Casey said...

I'm wondering whether things will go as planned. Another fun six, Lorraine.

--Kimberly K. Comeau

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Christine! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Sarah! I love Annie, even if she isn't an action-oriented, coordinated kind of gal. ;)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Mae! She is certainly awkward... and trying desperately not to acknowledge the attraction.

patonlorraine said...

*grin* Thanks, Joanne.

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Kate! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Carrie! :) It was a big step for her.

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Angela! I hadn't thought of it as a metaphor... but maybe it is. One of my crit partners is excellent at seeing metaphors - I think it is a gift. :)

patonlorraine said...

Ah, thank you, Skye! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Karen! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Sue Ann! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Karysa! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Sandra! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Kate! :) I promise... She'll be free next week!

patonlorraine said...

Ah, thank you, S.J.! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Cara! :)

patonlorraine said...

Haha, so true! Thanks, J.M.! :)

patonlorraine said...

Ah, thank you, Sue! :)

patonlorraine said...

Haha, thank you, Monica!

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Teresa! As I mentioned above, I hadn't really seen it as symbolic when I wrote it, but I guess perhaps it is. :)

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Cate! Yes, she's letting go... for the moment, at least. :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, A.S.! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Elin! :) 6 sentences can be tricky, can't they? LOL

patonlorraine said...

LOL. At the very least she'll be happy to be out of the truck. :)

patonlorraine said...

Ah, thank you, Corinne! :)

patonlorraine said...

Yep! It was time. LOL

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, Kylie! :)

patonlorraine said...

Mmmm... shoulders. There *may* be something about shoulders next week. :)

patonlorraine said...

Indeed... she's been stuck in there for weeks. LOL

patonlorraine said...

Thanks, Ruthie! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

patonlorraine said...

Yep, that shirt is gaping. ;) Thanks, Candice.

patonlorraine said...

*grin* Ah, thanks, Zee! I'm glad you are enjoying it. :)

patonlorraine said...

Ah, thank you, Jennifer! That is wonderful to hear! :)

patonlorraine said...

Aw, thank you, Silver! I'm so happy to hear you were looking forward to my six! :)

patonlorraine said...

Tee hee, she is a bit conflicted, isn't she? Thanks, Ginger!

patonlorraine said...

I'm not sure that much of Annie's life goes according to plan, but she will escape the truck. LOL. Thanks, Casey! :)

patonlorraine said...

Thank you, everyone! I love hearing your ideas and thoughts on my six each week! You make me smile! :)